Modern Dating: When does it become a Felony?

The relationship between Senate candidate Graham Platner and Jenny Racicot is today the center of American politics. Meanwhile, there is an issue imbedded in this which has nothing to do with politics and everything to do with how dangerous modern dating relationships have become. Candidly, this 30 minute interview should be part of every older teenager’s learning experience.

Are the words “I’m not into this” enough of a rejection to make what Platner is alleged to have done to be defined as rape? Ms. Racicot later says she added the words “Don’t touch me.” Then she relates that he would apologize for his conduct but then keep moving forward with unprotected sexual intercourse. She acknowledges that in the past she had a consensual sexual relationship with Mr. Platner. She had known him two years before the event we are now immersed in discussing.

When the evening of the unconsented sex occurred, Mr. Platner stayed the night. Ms. Racicot said she did not evict him because he was too drunk. The following morning, he attempted to embrace her and she snapped: telling him his conduct was horrible. He left. She waited two weeks to find out if she had become pregnant and then texted him that she wanted no further contact.

Did he rape her? She says yes but then adds “He violated multiple layers of consent.”

Coming into her house uninvited. Having sex against her will. Having sex without a condom.

This event occurred between two adults in 2021. Ms. Racicot was then 36. Mr. Platner was as well. They had lived a lot of life. It certainly sounds as if she knew he was intoxicated when he called to see if he could come over. She said no. He came anyway and found her home unlocked. The incident she describes is one where her alleged assailant is unsteady of his feet and knocks over a sewing table. She did not summon the police either before or after the encounter. She said she “complied” because she feared he might have done greater harm.

Her one comment is so trenchant. To paraphrase “Men rely on the silence of women.” So often and in so many different sets of events, lawyers hear women clients say: “I had to keep the peace.” In this case, after what certainly sounds like a sexual assault, this victim went to the bathroom and returned to the bed occupied by the man who she said assaulted her. There can be little question that hundreds of thousands of women have endured this kind of experience. Yet, our perception of rape is the unknown assailant climbing through the window or armed with a knife demanding sex and threatening violence. The crime of rape is forcible sexual intercourse. 18 Pa.C.S. 3121(a). It is a felony of the first degree.

The data are old but a 2010 study suggested that 90% of women rape victims know their assailant. Statistics In-Depth – National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC) Certainly, rape is rape whether you know your victim or not and we can all agree that drugs and alcohol readily impair how conduct is interpreted. In this setting however, how is society to judge “consent” where the alleged perpetrator is having trouble standing and walking, commits the crime and then stays the night?

If you have a child headed to preparatory school or college this Fall, a link to this video is kind of a training manual for what your kid needs to know. I have encountered two clients with children who had this kind of encounter; where either consent was presumed or that the assault would be forgiven. While we chase after Epstein’s victims and assess the conduct of our politicians, this kind of harm is going on every day and scarring the lives of far too many people. Note also that while television commentators are demanding this crime be prosecuted to the fullest extent, Ms. Racicot has not joined in that request.

The 30 minute interview. Bing Videos

Addendum: July 7 brought forth an additional interview with another ex-Platner relationship from 2013-2015. I listened to the interview today with Lyndsey Fifield and wondered whether any young women hearing both interviews would even consider a relationship with a young man. Alas, love and domestic violence seem to have been around since Adam met Eve. But in moderation, the interviews provide a teaching moment where young people can ask themselves: “How would I manage conduct like this?”