Diddy Do Something Wrong? Lessons from the Combs Trial

Mark Twain summed it best: “Truth is stranger than fiction.” He added that fiction at least needed to pretend to be plausible where the truth did not. And, thus we enter another week of the United States v. Sean John Combs.

There are two sound reasons not to write about this trial. This is a domestic relations blog and U.S. V. Combs is a federal criminal prosecution for racketeering. And, Mr. Combs is in the entertainment world- a place where bad publicity can actually be good for business.

The reason to violate our own rules about blogging is the sheer madness the case reveals. Because Mr. Combs is fabulously wealthy (estimated in the half-billion range) he can afford to own and do things beyond the wildest fantasies of mortals who read blogs and drive Chevies. But there is a through line to this story that we should all recognize when friends and family are living through separation and divorce. People become attached to others in ways that cannot be understood.

Through this trial the prosecution witnesses have been smart and engaging. They are undeniably attractive. In a word, they did not need to live a life that incorporated physical violence, constant monitoring and verbal abuse. But they did and not just briefly. They did it for years. We like to think that people who fall prey to predators do so because they are young and impressionable. The witness today, a woman identified only as Jane said her relationship with Combs began when she was 34. On direct examination by prosecutors she recounted a life most of us would equate with affluent imprisonment with a bucket of Dom Perignon in the cell. But on cross examination today Jane acknowledged that part of her still loved Mr. Combs.

Cynics would respond (justly) that Jane and former girlfriend Cassie Ventura endured this life because of the money. And, it turns out that Combs is still paying for Jane’s residence and attorneys. But these women had other opportunities to find both a romantic partner and employment that did not require what they endured. Note also, that in opening statements, lawyers for Mr. Combs really don’t deny what occurred; the core of the defense was that it was consensual.

So is this just rich people run amok. We think not. Pennsylania is not Hollywood. But it has its own share of violence. In 2023, 41,700 people filed pleadings alledging they had either been physically harmed by a loved one or threatened  with such harm. That required them to go to a police station and then a courthouse and fill out forms describing the conduct they found harmful. But, data compiled by the state that in nearly 11,000 of these case (26%) the victim failed to appear for a hearing on the matter.  In another 9,000 instance (21%) the victim withdrew the case without any lasting protection via court order. In sum, nearly half of the cases filed went nowhere.

There are indications in the Combs case that these women and others like them failed to act because of express or implied threats made to them. That may well be true. Yet, circle back to the testimony of Jane today. Despite all of it, she still misses their relationship.

Casting aside the power, the glory and the depradations associated with an international music legend, underneath all of it are raw emotions that still drive people to consent to things that no reasonable person would consider. When dealing with friends and family who confide with you about divorce or their personal relationships, realize that you will probably never get the entire story and that even if you did, the truth would baffle you. And part of the price of becoming the deep confidante it that you can invest emotionally and even financially in the stories of your close friend, only to discover that he or she returned to the relationship you sought to rescue them from.

Will Combs be convicted? One has to take pity on the jurors charged with hearing this. If they do convict, the jail sentence could put Combs in jail for life. Then consider the responsibilities of the judge who saw the defendant convicted for a crime which the defendant and many witnesses seem to describe as little more than an endless party. People were threatened. People were hurt. But for more than a decade they kept coming back for more.