Yes, the Holidays are Filled with Divorce Thoughts
An interesting article published by Insider Magazine’s on-line edition titled: “Five Signs Someone Will be a Nightmare to Divorce.” It’s worth a read because people often either under or overestimate their spouse’s reaction to the “news.” And for many, the news is trapped in a bottle awaiting the end of the holiday season.
I don’t know that I agree with the attorney interviewed for the article in his observation that: “You divorce the person [with the same characteristics] you married.” People do change especially as job and child rearing responsibilities come in to play in a marriage.
The thing I saw during initial consults was how out of tune the prospective clients were with the emotional process. I found that most people are shocked to learn that their spouse would want to separate and divorce. They saw themselves as the oppressed ones; the better spouse/parent. I would commonly ask toward the end of the consult: “Were I meeting your spouse in this consult, what would he or she say about their performance as a spouse or parent and what would they say about yours?”
In olden days, people would do divorce consults up until Thanksgiving and then they would disappear until after the New Year. Candidly, the holidays are complicated enough without adding the matrix of divorce and separation. But, if separation in 2025 is on your secret agenda, read the article and do some thinking about how your spouse is going to react. Rare indeed is it: “Oh, OK, I’ll get a lawyer and have him contact yours to wind this up.”
Here’s the link: